Monday, October 17, 2011

Captain's Log: Party Helicopter Gang

Captain's Log: Party Helicopter Gang 

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who party and those who get in the way of those who party. This is the core philosophy of Party Helicopter Gang, a sick party band bent on world party domination. The PHG won't stop until their vision of a party world is fully realized. They party hard so that they can live in a world where the only sickness people feel is that of a strawberry daiquiri/ Pina Colada induced hangovers, where the chirping of birds is replaced by Van Halen riffs played so loud it forces 'squares (you know who you are)' to drop their spread sheets and pick up a hand full of jalapeno triscuits, neon glow tubes, and a large red, blue, orange, white, or yellow drink with a chunk of fruit and a twisty straw in it. A world where the term 'fist pump' is used as a noun, verb, and adjective and clocks are really just pepperoni pizzas nailed to the wall. To understand the peculiar vision of these party people it is imperative that we meet the partiers themselves.

Fiesta Man (rhythm guitar)
Things don't start out well for Fiesta Man as he is arrested in Tijuana for mistaking a sequined covered donkey as a pinata. Thus, he was sent to Buzz kill State penitentiary. BKSP is run by the ruthless Officer Bad Times. It is in BKSP where Fiesta man meets his future partner in partying Dance Traxx.

Dance Traxx (lead guitar)
Dance Traxx, a party prisoner was sentenced to a life term in BKSP for severe party crimes. As legend has it, Dance Traxx started a food fight in middle school that was so righteously ill that it is still raging to this day. The food fight in question now occupies the time and energy of the National Guard 24/7 all around the world. Potato salad is now a class-1 weapon.
Fiesta Man met Dance Traxx through the prison party circuit.

The Party Helicopter
Having decided that two people simply isn't a party, Fiesta man and Dance Traxx decide to bust out of 'the joint'. It wasn't long before they were able to high jack a BKSP helicopter by scalding the prison guards with burning hot liquid cheese and subduing them with silly string. They made a hasty retreat to party island in the newly christened Party Helicopter. Fiesta Man and Dance Traxx re-wired the party helicopter to have party GPS that alerted Fiesta Man and Dance Traxx to any party within a 500 million mile radius. With Spud 'Spudz' Mackenzie the party dog in the pilot's seat the Party Helicopter flew off in to the night leaving behind a trail of empty potato chip bags and discarded tiki cups. Officer Bad Times took the prison escape as a personal affront and vowed revenge on Fiesta Man and Dance Traxx.
FunGasm (drums)
It was here in the Party Helicopter that Fiesta Man spotted below a taco truck rocking back and forth. After hearing the sick beats coming from the taco truck Fiesta Man and Dance Traxx spewed a giant wad of colorful, yet tastefully looking confetti from their 'party vessels'. 'Dude! I just had a FunGasm!' They said to each other in unison. The driver of the taco truck was promptly recruited and named FunGasm.

PartyTron (a.k.a-MurderTron) (Bass/Harmonies)
No sooner did FunGasm step on to the party helicopter did it start to shake violently. Were they under attack? Yes indeed. It was that bothersome MurderTron, a robot from the future sent by Lieutenant Bad Times (he makes lieutenant in the future). 'He seems to be shooting bad vibe rays at us' exclaimed Fiesta Man. Dance Traxx, being the quickest on his feet, uses the twizzler ropes that were lying around to tie up MurderTron. He was then forced on to the chopper and made to be a P.O.P. (a prisoner of partying) of the PHG. Without a moment to spare, MurderTron was surrounded by large boom boxes and subdued with ill part jams, buffalo-wing flavored Doritos, choco-chip cookies, spiked fruit punch, and party girls with brightly colored tube tops and shapely figures. Once the party-morphosis was complete MurderTron was no more. In his place, was PartyTron. Incensed at the transformation of his most diabolical robot henchman, lieutenant Bad Times vowed once more to crush the PHG and rid the world of parties once and for all.

Lady Good Times (voice)
After rocking 100 parties in just two days, the Party Helicopter crashed in a haze of blue smoke, though not before they made it to a mechanic. But this wasn't just any mechanic; this was a chick, man! and her name was Mango. While Mango worked on the Party Helicopter the PHG had a secret party meeting. 'I bet this chick wants to party' exclaimed Fiesta Man. But she's kind of uptight' replied PartyTron. 'Yeah, she needs to get 'Frito Layed' agreed Dance Traxx. 'Just leave it to me guys' said FunGasm.
As FunGasm laid down some sick-ass-beats the PHG whipped out their 'instruments' and played some party rock music so dirty it would make Anne Morgan blush. This caught Mango's attention. Any inhibitions Mango had felt in the past had now disappeared. Under the spell of the party vibe Mango moved in a way that made the PHG's 'party vessels' swell and smolder. 'This Mango chick is ripe and she knows how to have a good time' observed PartyTron. From then on, Lady Good Times was born.

So that's how this band of merry miscreants came to be. They continued to party an average of fifty parties per day. This is, until the buzz-killing Officer Bad Times tried to put a stop to the festivities. To find out what happens next in this saga be sure to check us out in person at King Killer Studios this Friday night.

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